Transcendence

Transcendence- Chapter One

       The woman stood by, staring in silence at the landscape. From where she was, so high up on the mountain, she could see everything so clearly. Neighboring mountains walled in the valley, opening a good ways off to the ocean that spread far enough that no land could be seen on the other side. The rolling hills dipped down to meet the villages that dotted the valley floor. Even now, so early in the morning, the woman could see wisps of smoke reaching out of the stone chimneys of the cottages below. She was warmed by the sight, the sight so familiar that she should be comforted. But with the warmth came the memory of the strange things that had recently befallen her. She turned away from the valley and instead looked up to the very top of the mountain she stood on, staring at the snow-capped pines that dotted the tip, creating a bright white to glare against the dark of the barren trees. Feeling a sudden but subtle lurch in her stomach, the woman lay a hand on her belly and shut her eyes. That's when, against the dark night sky, an even darker shape appeared overhead. Opening her eyes, the woman's eyes flew to the air above her, wary of the monstrous shadow. Then someone, or something, spoke to her.
     "Zara," it said, barely above a whisper, and sounding as though it was being spoken directly into the woman's ear, "time to wake up."
     Though the push on her shoulder was gentle, the woman, startled, fell onto her side, landing in the dirt and staring straight ahead as a giant being landed on the ground beside her.
     "Zara!"
I wake from my dream, no longer the woman on the mountainside. I find myself still on my side, but in my own bed. I can feel a cool air on my neck where a light sweat still lingers. Where the being should be, instead, I find the complete opposite. "Jamie," I groan, "Worst. Timing. Ever."
     My twin brother grins at me before softly patting my head. "Was is the dream again?"
His hand is warm against my forehead, and it seems to soothe away the tension that followed my dream. Though younger than me, even if only by a few minutes, Jamie always acts like a big brother to me. He takes charge of the important things like cooking meals, keeping the house straight, and making sure the both of us get to school on time. With me, though, it takes a good amount of effort.
      "When isn't it?" I ask, rolling from under his hand and turning over to face away from him. "I don't feel like school today."
      He settles beside me on the bed. "How bad was it this time? Did you get any further than usual?"
After a slight hesitation, I shake my head, then press my cheek into my pillow. Understanding, as he always does, Jamie begins to smooth my hair again. He doesn't speak; he simply waits to see what I will do next. After a few moments, I say softly, "I think there's something wrong with her."
    "With who?"
"Me." I shake my head. "I mean, the woman. The one I become in the dream. It's the way she reacts to the thing approaching her."
    Since I began having this recurring dream seven months ago, Jamie and I have discussed it in great detail, making predictions about. For instance, why is the woman away from her village in the first place? Why does she seem so nervous? And the million-dollar question, just what is the shadow in the sky?
    "Did she seem especially afraid of it?" Jamie asks encouragingly.
The tremor of her heartbeat. The lurch in her stomach. The way she collapses at the slightest wind.
    "She's always afraid," I answer in a hushed whisper. Then, I sit up and scoot past him and off the bed. Remaining where he's settled, Jamie watches me as I go to my dresser to pick out an outfit for today. Then he says something I've never dreamed about coming from his mouth.
    "We don't have to go in today, if you don't want to."
Stopping short, I stare at him through the mirror hanging above my dresser. He meets my eyes. It makes sense that we're considered identical. We both have the same messy, bluish-black hair, his cut just below his eyebrows and above his collar, mine left long, stopping halfway down my back. Our faces are similar, as similar as they can get without seeming unnatural. The only difference between us is our eyes. While his are a dark blue, framed brilliantly by his long dark eyelashes, my eyes are a pale green, like sea glass. We like to pretend he got his eye color from our mother, and mine are like our father's. While we have no proof, it made us feel good when we thought it up as children. Even now, the idea has a nice glow to it.
    "You're serious?" I ask incredulously. "Ditch school?"
He shrugs. "Maya doesn't have to know. If she finds out, I'll say you got sick, and that I didn't think to call her to inform the office."
    I turn from the mirror and face him, smiling and crossing my arms. "Where on earth has my brother gone?"
   He grins, rising and taking my hands. "Get dressed. Breakfast in ten. If you're late, don't expect any sympathy."
   With that, he exits the room swiftly. I catch the door before it closes, calling, "Jamison Cadmus, you've gone mad!"
    Already at his own room, Jamie turns to me, smiling, and says, "That makes two of us", before shutting his door. Shaking my head in disbelief, I turn back into my room to get ready for breakfast. I expected nothing more than a fun day spent with my brother.
   If only a good day would last.





((((Oh my goodness, an actual story?! Don't get me wrong, I'm surprised myself. But it's a nice change of pace. After so long of ranting and suffering from writer's block, it feel fantastic to have a little mojo left in me. Can't promise much of this, as it was just something plaguing my mind for a bit, but hopefully I can make something cool out of it.
Btw, y'all like my totally creative title? -.- don't judge, I couldn't come up with anything better. It will probably change later, but who knows. We shall see. Plus, didn't even read over this twice, so don't judge for errors. G'night!
 ~Squiggs))))

Life, Scars, and Apologies

I don't know what else to do.
I know I'm not the best friend. Lord knows the many times I've said this, and the thousands of times I've thought it. I still can't decide if this is realization or naivety.
Everyone is not the same. This contradicts what I wrote about earlier, but it's true. I'm still tired of being grouped in with people. Why can't I be my own person? I wish I could be that one friend that likes everyone. Cuz I do like everyone. Hell, I love everyone. But I'm still pushed away. Do I not try? I think I do. Am I a nuisance? Probably. But I do try. At least, I did.
I'm not gonna be that girl anymore. And it wasn't the preacher on the TV telling me that my sins shouldn't hold me down. It wasn't the outline of Psalm 51 that I wrote last night for Bible class that told me I should repent my sins and ask for cleanliness. It was a song.
When this song came on my 8tracks, I stopped to listen to it, which is strange because I usually just let the music play in the background. But I listened, and I began to cry. Not because the song is sad.
But because it made me feel strong.

I'm tired of being pushed around. Tired of being judged by actions that aren't my own. I still feel like I'm being grouped in with other people, people who aren't like me. Sometimes groups are okay, but this is different. I'm being judged because of other people, and I'm sick of it. But why should I change because of it?
For you out there, if you read this, you know who you are. I'm the same as you. But you're stronger than I am. I gave in. But don't treat me like them. Please. I don't think I deserve that.
For anyone out there, anyone I tried for, I'm not sorry for trying. I don't regret it. But I'm tired of being ignored for pouring my heart it to you. I feel like the best thing to do is simply curl in on myself, because that seems like the only solution at this point.
I'm still going to love everyone. I don't think I'll ever stop. I want to be everyone's friend.
But I guess that depends on them, not me.
I can't add a link, but please listen to this song. You don't have to, of course, but it really helped me, so maybe it can do the same to someone else.

Dear X, You Don't Own Me - Disciple