Please don't hold this against me...

"And I wish all my friends could all laugh with each other,
and all my friends could all cheer with each other,
and all my friends could all forgive each other."

      I hate high school.
     I guess there's a reason everyone says that junior year is the hardest year. At first I thought they meant it was difficult keeping good grades. But honestly, my grades have been better this year than they have since middle school. No. Grade-wise, this year so far has been fantastic. I wish I could enjoy it, but I can't. Want to know why? Because the majority of my friends...I'm not even sure if they're my friends anymore. And sure, it's probably my fault for not coming to lunch anymore, but honestly, why would I want to? All that has to offer me is drama that I don't need and that I definitely don't want. Most of my so-called-friends don't even talk to me, or all they want to do is talk trash about one of my real friends. I'm so sick of the drama. Is it even right to call it drama? It's freaking childish. So what's-her-face told that guy you "liked" him. Oh noes, your life is over, better change your name and move to Australia. Suck it up and move on. It probably wasn't meant to hurt you.
     It's either stupid kid-fights like that, or something serious. Like, super serious, that I want to help with, but I truly do not know how. Scratch that. I do know how, and it'd be freaking easy. But it would also be costly. But honestly, what's more important to me? Someone's friendship, or someone's life.
     In short, when this song came on one of the fan-mixes I was listening to, it really got to me, enough that I almost started crying. I don't want the reason I hate school to be my friends, or lack there of. But I can't deal with this stuff. I can't deal with stupid drama and someone's suicidal thoughts that bring me to tears every time I see that person. I can't deal with the knowledge that if people just get their minds out of the gutter that it wouldn't have to be like that.
      So listen up. I'm done with everything from the past. I'm done holding stupid grudges that meant nothing then and mean nothing now. I'm done holding back when seeing a friend being hurt. I'm done letting people talk crap about the people I care about. I don't care if people don't want to hang out with me anymore. That's their choice, not mine, and I guess it means that I never meant anything to them in the first place. But from now on, I'm not gonna start drama, I'm not gonna be a part of the drama, and I'm not gonna sit back and let it run wild. I want to do everything I can to stop it. Because honestly, I just want us all, all of my friends, to get along, and I don't see why that can't happen. Call me naive, whatever you want. That's just what I want.
~Squiggs

Song: we are not friends      Artist: S