The Light Behind Your Eyes

"There's...got to be some sort of reason."
I turn and look at her, but she's somewhere else. Yes, her head is on my shoulder, her hand is entwined with mine, but she's gone, in her own world. At least, that's what I thought a moment ago.
Is she letting me in.
"A reason for what?" I ask, trying to get to her.
She's motionless against me. I squeeze her hand. "Lena."
She opens her mouth and takes a deep breath, then lets it out slowly, audibly. I listen to the soft hiss of she makes as she does. That's the only response I get.
I sigh softly and rest my cheek against the top of her head. She stiffens for a moment before relaxing again, and her hand twitches in mine.
"A reason...for this," she says.
I don't move. She's talking to me. I mean, I think she is. Then she sighs and says, "Jax."
I slowly shake my head. "No, my name is Andrew."
She silent, and for a moment I actually think she's digesting this. That she remembers.
"Jax, do you know what the reason is?"
I sigh again and let go of her hand to stretch out on the grass. As I lie down, Lena turns to look at me, but she fixes her eyes on my shoulder.
"You won't tell me what the reason could be for," I tell her as she stares at me curiously, awaiting an answer.
She chews on her lip, then plops down next to me, her arms splayed. One is draped across my belly, but only until she brings it to fold with the other on her chest. "I did tell you."
I shake my head. "A reason for what? What is this?"
When she doesn't answer, I stare up at the pale blue sky. It makes me mad that I can't communicate with her anymore. Everything was so much easier before she become...what she is. I sigh, and in the chilly air, my breath becomes a wispy fog that floats up into the trees above us. I turn to look at Lena and notice she's staring at me.
"What?" I ask.
Could she?
She reaches out and touches the tips of my dark hair, twirling the strands between her fingers.
"It was shorter then," she says.
I frown and sit up to look at her. "What is the reason for, Lena? Why can't you talk to me?"
She shakes her head and says, "A reason for Life. I don't understand. Why did this happen."
"Why did what happen?"
She reaches out again and touches my shoulder. "You were different, Jax."
"That's not my-," I stop and remove her hand from my shoulder, holding it between my own.
"Talk to me, Lena. Why can't you talk to me, Andrew."
She bites her lip and simply shakes her head. "You'll understand. In time."